Choosing joy (again) and gratitude

Here I am. Relearning (or is it reviewing?) lessons from the past. I've been wallowing in my own way lately, daily reminding myself to--

• "let go or get dragged" 
• "turn my will and my life over to the care of God"  
• "act my way into right thinking"

There are moments, even hours, of serenity and peace. But for the most part, I have to admit that I have NOT chosen joy or gratitude. So, yesterday I decided it was time to do so. Once again. Make the conscious choice. Take action. And see what happens.

And good things do happen. Joy does show up. It happened yesterday in the space of 15 minutes after making the choice:

• Decide to stop by the Wednesday, Westerville Farmer's Market. I don't really need any produce or meat. I do want something sweet and homemade--a cookie or brownie. There are several good bakers at the market.

• Walking up the street, I peek in the window at Captivating Canines (store for dog-lovers) and laugh at the doormat on display. Would be a fitting greeting when Jock is around. 

Sweet potato bird

• At the Farmer's Market Mike and Laura Laughlin (Northridge Organic Farms) have some HUGE sweet potatoes ("Yes, the first digging is always a surprise," Laura grins). Have to buy the bird! 

Last of summer peaches

• Branstool's Orchards has peaches. Yum! Coming down to the last, luscious week of fresh peaches. Fifteen bucks for a peck. I'm in. Rummaging through my billfold, I realize I only have $15 in cash and no checks. Edna senses my mild dismay and asks if anything is wrong. "No, I just had wanted to buy a cookie. But I don't have enough cash or any checks." Her response: "Can't stand in the way of a woman and her sweets!" and she gives me back a dollar.

• Off in search of cookie. Great choices at Batter and Bowl. Shoot! $2! I scrounge in the bottom of my purse, hoping for recalcitrant coins hiding in the folds. "Don't worry," Sara says. "Karma comes around. A dollar is fine." Can I really be so lucky? Again? "Yesterday I ran out of gas and someone gave me five dollars. We're just paying it all forward."  No brownie every tasted so sweet. 

And all of that in the space of 15 minutes after choosing joy. Life would be pretty good if I decided to choose joy and gratitude on a daily, breath-by-breath basis!

(By the way, joy showed up again today.)

For Jock

In Entebbe

Restful day here in Bugongo district of Entebbe at the Sunset Motel Entebbe. There are views out both sides of the motel to Lake Victoria, and an accompanying gentle breeze. It was a gift to take a shower and sleep on a bed, prone, after 12+ hours on airplanes yesterday.

This morning after breakfast and a delightful conversation with Monique, a young Dutch woman heading to Bunia, I spent some time writing, thinking, going for a walk, and enjoying the gifts of this region:

Keeping watch on the water

Surprise

Birds and vegetation. Perhaps because they are unfamiliar, the bird species and their songs capture my imagination. I recognize pelicans and kingfishers (or their cousins). But there are other small songbirds that dart among the flowers and larger birds that swoop and call from rooftops and light poles. One bird, with the voice of a wooden-flute, sang a Gloria of repeating double measures in 2/4 time from somewhere down the road this morning. A tree shaded the table where I wrote. It's physique, spidery, yet thick, belies the beauty and fragrance of the blossoms. Only three or four clusters decorate its mass.

Yum

Tea. Is there anything to compare to spiced African tea? It's the color of almonds, made with hot milk and sweet spices. What a delight to sip my way through an entire thermos.

Gracious kindness of strangers. During my walk, a moto-driver asked if I wanted a ride. I thanked him and explained that I was out for a walk. When I asked him for the best way to get down to the water, he offered to drive me over a shortcut to the road. I explained that I didn't have any money on me, as I was just out for a walk. "No problem, Madame. Get on. I will show you." It was a short drive; but I wouldn't have recognized the shortcut on my own.

Contrasts. My American memory and perspective delights in what are, to me, surprising contrasts. For example, a large LG, flat screen television entertains in the dining area of the motel, and there is free internet here and at other guest houses and motels in the area. At the same time, laundry is done by hand and hung over the wall, and trash is collected and burned in open fires in each compound. Then there are the day and night. Literally. The sun shines bright and high during the day. Darkness lands suddenly and completely by 6pm, unabashed, requiring no defense against city lights.

Last night, landing first in Kigali, then in Entebbe, was an example of the contrast between light and dark here in this place. As we approached each airport, only scattered dots of light indicated the city below. Parallel orange lights, lonely in black night, appeared suddenly--the only visible marker of each airport. At Kigali, a car with lights blinking guided our jumbo jet to the terminal. Three portable passenger-stair trucks stood, sentinel-like, their headlights on, and illuminated our final approach to the terminal at Entebbe.

New ways of looking and seeing. Before my first trip to Congo in October, 2009, Paul Robinson gave  good advice that I continue to follow: Observe and jot down those observations. Refrain from judgment and analysis. Ask questions.

Ready to go?

It would be easy (especially for the judgment-inclined person that I am) to look at the paint peeling from what appears to be a sleek new hotel and think... Or jump to judgment about three heifers tied in an abandoned lot. Or allow contrasts to become questions. But my Congolese sisters and brothers have taught me to see with other eyes and refrain from judging actions and decisions in another culture from my American lens. (Tim Harford, in his recently-posted TED Talk, Trial and error and the God complex, seems to agree.) So, I take delight in the hot-rod towing a camper and cows amidst refuse overlooking Lake Victoria.

The ease of being present in the present. One of the gifts of Congo, and my brief passages through Uganda, is that it's easier for me to be present in the present. Perhaps it's the contrasts, the new ways of looking and seeing, being a stranger and a sojourner, or the sensual joys of sight, sound, taste, and smell; but it's easier to be present in the present here, in this place. It's easier to sit and to listen--first to the birds, the music, the lilting voices--and then to God.

Choosing joy and gratitude when the heart breaks

Two weeks ago we moved Dad from independent living into assisted living. It was another downsizing and another reminder that life is closing in and closing down. Dad concurred that making the change was the right thing to do. He looked at the new space before the decision was confirmed.  My sister and I were concerned that Dad fully recognize that his living space would shrink from a one-bedroom apartment to one bedroom. "Well, I don't really need all that space," and, "This is the right thing to do," were Dad's responses.
So on a Saturday, my sister, brother-in-law, and daughter moved the few items that would fit in one room from Dad's apartment. We arranged the furniture...

Choosing joy and gratitude

Bee balm: a funky, raggedy, and joyous!

I like to think that I'm a "glass is half full" kind of person. The truth is that while the glass may be half full, it does have a chip on the rim or there is some bit of floating lint or insect piece. Yes, half full, but...

Wouldn't be bad if I were to keep my observations to myself or let them bounce and slide, ice-cube-like, off the edge and onto the floor. But no. I'm in the bad habit of wearing mild disappointments confidently--not loudly or brazenly, but with quiet assurance. Ask me "How are you?" and you're likely to get, "OK" or "Not bad."

Geesshhh! I don't want to be around me sometimes! ...