Armor of Light

I've been exhausted by the trials and troubles in the world lately. Civl war in Syria. Rebels rising up in Congo. Fighting between Palestinians and Israelis. Loved ones struggling with health and history. Friends standing up against hopelessness. Congolese sisters and brothers thrown into insecurity and danger. It's heavy. It's hard.

Yes. This is Advent. Time of reflection and penance. But penance seems insufficient for the suffering and grief. I've been overpowered by anger, buried by sadness.

Yesterday I read the prayer appointed for the week (collect for 1st Sunday of Advent):

Almighty God, give all of us grace to cast away the works of darkness, and put on the armor of light, now in the time of this mortal life in which your Son Jesus Christ came to visit us in great humility; that in the last day, when he shall come again in his glorious majesty to judge both the living and the dead, we may rise to the life immortal; through him who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen.

Put on the armor of light. That's what struck me. That's what nudged me to move forward yesterday. And today. To put one foot in front of the other. To keep walking.

The armor of light. Light isn't always the breath, the sword of truth, brightness piercing the dark of night.

Sometimes light is heavy. Sometimes light is armor. It's defense. It's not healing. It's a shield. It's full-body armor against the ugliness and ruin and hatred. We have to pick it up and put it on. And it's hard and heavy. But sometimes it's the only thing we can do in the face of the evil and the ugly.

It's the only action I can take today.

End of the UCBC School Year

Preparing the grounds

It's a cool morning here in Beni. The city is just beginning to wake up. But there are workers, cooks, students, staff and family members of the UCBC community who have already been up for some time. Some have stayed up all night. Today is UCBC's 2nd graduation. UCBC has been a busy place these last weeks. Exams and deliberations, preparations for the General Assembly (Congolese board),and preparations for graduation for graduation have consumed time and focus.

And more preparations

UCBC is like any other school when it comes to graduation preparations. Grounds people have been busy cutting, trimming, and weeding, painting and cleaning. Faculty and staff have been correcting exams, organizing logistics, writing and practicing speeches, assembling awards and diplomas, and confirming invitations and seating arrangements. At 8:00 pm last evening, people were still the setting up sound equipment and chairs. Remember…there is no exterior campus lighting. Cooks worked through the night preparing food for the celebration. 

The General Assembly (GA) concluded its work yesterday afternoon. We met for three very productive days. The primary order of business was working through the CI-UCBC 5-year strategic plan. There was excellent discussion, learning, some adjustments and additions, and all-in-all a thoughtful process with God's hand at work.

GA members at work

One of the questions the leadership asked the GA to consider during its review of the strategic plan was, "Do the objectives and activities take into account the protection of the environment, protection of children, and equality of gender." As a result of that question, we decided to specifically articulate two new objectives (not the correct language, but here's the essence): (1) to be intentional in seeking out qualified women to fill teaching and administrative positions; (2) to employ universal design techniques in our building and landscaping to allow full accessibility to all people, regardless of age or ability; (3) to demonstrate environmental stewardship in our building and landscaping. These are important and unique intentions for this context. Men dominate the landscapes of teaching and leadership in Congo. Men hold the positions of pastors, administrators, mayors, parliamentarians, university personnel. Yet, CI-UCBC is a holistic answer to the challenges and opportunities of Congo. We have a 40/60 female/male student ratio. We are eager to bring more women into the classroom as teachers and into the offices as administrators, not only as examples to our students, but to encourage the creativity that comes from diversity. There is more to say about this topic, of course...but, I was glad we had this conversation!

The General Assembly

Articulating commitments to accessibility and environmental stewardship is also significant and unique to CI-UCBC. For the most part, people who are not able-bodied are stigmatized in this region. People with physical disabilities are shunned from the community, excluded from education opportunities, ignored for leadership positions, and often left without any means for their own support and care. Sadly, many people suffer physical disabilities simply because of lack of medical care that would otherwise prevent or correct matters that become life-long burdens. One of our own beloved GA members, Pastor Peter Amani, a wise, joyful, bright, compassionate elder, suffered the amputation of his leg after an otherwise minor and treatable wound resulted in infection and nerve damage. That CI-UCBC proclaims all as members of the body, and that CI-UCBC is going to be intentional in all of its practices to include, invite, make accessible its facilities and programs is yet another beacon of light in the region and the nation.

DRC is rich in natural resources. But those resources are being exploited in ways that damage communities, individuals, and the environment. From the beginning, CI-UCBC has envisioned as fully-sustainable and green a campus as possible. Now we have articulated that in our strategic plan. We recently received the full report and plans from eMi that will direct our campus development. In that plan are recommendations for a hybrid power system that includes solar, hydro, and biogas. There are also recommendations regarding building orientations to take advantage of sunlight (of which we have plenty) and natural breezes. But what makes this unique is that these practices are not part of local culture. In an area with seemingly endless supplies of water and trees, people use without consideration of future needs. These practices are no different from what the majority world has modeled over the last couple of centuries. We decimated forests in the name of progress and polluted our watercourses because there were plenty of streams and rivers and lakes. The same occurs here. That CI-UCBC is making a stand and setting a different example is yet another light.

But back to graduation...It's today. And there's great excitement. "To God be the glory."

Morning

This morning was cool and grey. A lilting fog hung in the air. Women and children filed along the roadside, bundles on their heads, loads heavy on their backs. Men pushed bicycles with loads of charcoal and wood. Moto drivers bundled up in winter coats.

The UCBC campus was quiet when I arrived.  John and Kapitula were the only people to greet me when I came through the gate. Kapitula, with his glowing smile, sang to the radio while he filled a bucket with water from the spigot.

The doors to the Academic Building were open. The tile floors, freshly washed, reflected the light. Jacques, one of the workers, hummed gently as he wiped the floor. At the end of the other hallway, Musiande sang another song. Someone outside whistled an arpeggio.

"God's mercies are new every morning."

June 13 at UCBC

Announcement

June 13 is now marked as a special day for UCBC. It is the day of tree planting. It is a day that, as Noé Kasali proclaims, “We will commemorate!” It is the day that 324 faculty, students, and staff each planted a tree on the UCBC property. Sadly, DRC is losing its forests to international interests and greed. It is also losing its forests to survival needs. UCBC’s own neighbors come onto the property to cut trees for firewood and slash and burn to plant vegetables. So we planted trees yesterday.

But June 13, 2012 marks more than just planting trees. It marks the spirit and ethic of Congo Initiative and UCBC.

Noé (L) instructs faculty about planting

The initiative began a couple of months ago when James, president of the UCBC chapter of Youth With a Mission (YWAM), approached Noé Kasali, Manager of the Student Work Program and Personnel Services. Through YWAM James and his peers had met a local man who was interested in donating 200 seedlings to UCBC. Within two weeks, James and the other YWAM members had made arrangements for the seedlings to be transported to UCBC. At the same time Student Council President Isaiah suggested a way for the wider student body to participate in a tree-planting project. Isaiah knew of a women’s organization in Beni that promotes environmental protection and raises tree seedlings. Isaiah negotiated and secured a donation of another 100 seedlings from this local group. “These groups were interested to participate because they knew we had a plan for our property,” explained Noé.

A tree planting event was coming together.

Tools at ready

To make the event truly memorable, it was important that everyone—students, staff, and faculty—be involved. The project needed close to 500 trees. Through other contacts and with a small budget, UCBC's Work Program and Land Management Committee purchased the remaining 200 seedlings from local sources.

So yesterday the planting began. Three hundred twenty-four students, faculty, and staff members were handed a seedling and tools and instructed where to plant. Students planted eucalyptus varieties around the property perimeter, to serve as boundary markers. Faculty and staff planted a variety of species, including acacia and croton, for shade and landscape on the developed portion of campus. Those who didn't plant yesterday will do so today. 

Everyone built barriers around their seedlings, as goats and chickens would otherwise enjoy easy snacking. Each planter also wrote her or his name, domain/discipline of study, and year here at UCBC on a piece of paper, and attached it to the tree. A method of permanently marking each tree is underway so that as the years progress, people can recall, “I planted this tree on June 13, 2012.”

Yup, I planted, too!

Sure, planting trees is a valuable ecological initiative. That was the beginning point of Wangari Maathai’s work and the initiation of the Green Belt Movement. But, as Noé pointed out, yesterday’s event marked even more. It marked student initiative and leadership. Students were the ones with the ideas. Students developed the plans and made logistical arrangements. The event also illustrated the power of community relationships and the role that UCBC students play in the local community. It was because of the collaboration and service that students have engaged that the various individuals and organizations were interested to donate to the initiative. The event reminded everyone that at UCBC manual work is part of our ethic. Faculty and administrators were out digging and planting.

And then there was another unexpected, added benefit. All six of Beni’s local radio stations broadcast stories about the event. The stations reported on the importance of planting trees and that UCBC and its students were setting an example for the community. The reports also noted that the people in the offices planted trees (a notable item in a professional culture that esteems one’s ability to sit behind a desk and tell other people what work to do).  Given that radio is the chief form of information exchange and communication, and that Beni’s radio stations cover a 50-60km radius and reach close to 1 million listeners, this is the kind of broadcast coverage that most PR executives would envy.

Yes, June 13 is a special day in UCBC’s history.

Chickens stay away!

Goats too!

For more photos, check out the photo album on Congo Initiative's Facebook pages.

Communications Classes at UCBC: Doing Education Differently

Last month communications students studying multimedia at UCBC had a unique opportunity. It was unique for university students of DRC, that is. Visiting teacher and photojournalist Anne Medley taught the class, Multimedia and Photojournalism.  Over the course of three weeks, students learned how to photograph, conduct interviews, write and edit a script, and tell a story from their community. The students worked in teams of 3 to develop a proposal and put it into action. One group of students told the story of Beni’s only woman taxi/moto driver. Another group of students produced a piece on an ironworker. The metal workers who forge charcoal braziers and pans—the local cooking appliances—were subjects of other stories. There was a piece on the pushcart drivers.

Students interview pushcart drivers

So, why was this unique? Because education in DRC universities is completely didactic and theoretical. Students listen to their teachers read lectures, and copy those lectures verbatim. Students memorize the notes then quote directly back to the teacher on an exam. The first opportunity students have to practice what they learn or to see theory in action is if they have an internship experience at the end of their studies. 

Anne shares student work as Honoré translates

Academic Dean Honoré Bunduki Kwany reminded the UCBC communications students how fortunate they were to have had this “hands-on” learning experience during chapel on Monday, June 4. Later that afternoon when I asked Honoré about his comments to the students, he confirmed, “Yes, journalism students in other universities never have a chance to photograph or develop pieces like this.” And then he told a story that one of UCBC’s communications teachers had shared.

Kaza, the teacher, was a communications student in one of DRC’s larger, national universities. His multimedia professor instructed the students how to film. He picked up a piece of notebook paper and formed a paper cylinder with it. Holding the cylinder to his eye, as if it were a telephoto lens, the professor explained, “When you use a camera, you hold it carefully up to your eye and look through it like this.” The professor slowly turned his head, scanning an imaginary scene before him.  He continued, “You have to move slowly while your camera is running. You don’t want to move too fast.”

“And this is not unusual!” Honoré lamented. “What our students have here, at UCBC, to use cameras, to use recording equipment, to work on computers, is unique to DRC." 

Students share their experiences

Yes, we're doing things differently here at UCBC, not just in communications, but in applied sciences, theology, and economics. As I write, for example, students in Wilfred Mushagalusa's Applied Informations class are creating databases. Students from DRC Realities worked with local community agencies last week to directly engage with their work. Yesterday, faculty, staff, and students planted trees on the UCBC campus. All of these experiences for learning, service, and work are unique in DRC's educational landscape. But they are distinctives that don't just make UCBC stand apart. They are distinctives that are cultivating the kind of ethical leadership and creative problem-solving that my Congolese sisters and brothers remind me is critical to DRC's present and future.

Telecentre

Telecentre: A “public place of access to the Internet and other digital technologies that help promote personal and social development” (www.telecentre.org).

Throughout Africa, Asia, and South America, telecentres serve as places for teaching, business development, business services, and internet hubs. Some specifically promote services for women. Some provide services for small-holding farmers. Others serve as clearinghouses for health care information. In every case, a telecentre is about leveraging ICT (information, communication, and technology) for the benefit of the community.

Thanks to a generous grant from Elmbrook Church (Brookfield, WI), Congo Initiative is in the process of researching local needs and telecentre models in preparation for developing a business plan. The goal is to establish an income-generating telecentre that also serves as a business incubator for UCBC graduates. The telecentre “will leverage graduates’ expertise and appropriate information, communication, and technology (ICT) services of UCBC and the Center for Professional Development and Vocational Training to benefit the community.” It will also “facilitate expansion of UCBC’s Economics Department to include entrepeneurship and business development education” (Entrepreneurship and Small Business Development Telecentre: Proposal, November, 2011).

At their core, telecentres serve the community and support community development initiatives. In addition to serving the community, we are looking to develop a telecentre that will provide employment for UCBC graduates or serve as a business incubator specifically for them. The telecentre will also be a vehicle to support some of CI-UCBC's own ICT needs here on campus. This could include supporting robust internet services or provide printing services (a desperate need, as 3 desktop printers are the tired workhorses for a faculty/staff of over 40 and a student body of 450+).

L-R: Wilfred, Victor, Guy

So, for the past 4 months, the team of Wilfred Mushagalusa (UCBC Applied Sciences teacher), Guy Komanda (UCBC Economics teacher), Victor Bangewa (UCBC IT Manager), and me have been reading, researching, and learning together. We’ve relied on information and contacts we’ve made through the Telecentre Foundation. These individuals have been very helpful. For example, Amparo Preethika M. De Asis, Capacity Building Manager of the Telecentre.org Foundation, put us in touch with telecentre experts in Uganda, Kenya, Zambia, and Rwanda. Ampy is in the Philippines. Rita Mijumbi Epodoi, from Uganda, has offered training assistance and advised on telecentres to visit in Uganda. Dean Mulozi, Regional Facilitator of the Southern Africa Telecentre Network (SATNET), has forwarded telecentre management training modules. Dean is in Zambia.  The Community Telecentre Cookbook for Africa: Recipes for Self-Sustainability (UNESCO, 2001) has provided a helpful framework for our work.

It’s great fun to work with Wilfred, Guy, and Victor. Even though each of these men has been on staff at UCBC for a year or less, each one has a deep commitment to CI and UCBC.

If passion had only one face, it would be Victor. Victor began at UCBC as a student 3 years ago. Eager to develop his IT skills, he made the difficult decision to move to Uganda for additional training. He returned to UCBC last year to assume responsibility for the computer network and labs, and gave up the potential to establish a successful business in Goma, the provincial capital 300 kms (and a long day's drive) to the south of Beni. Wilfred turned down a lucrative job offer in Kinshasa to teach at UCBC. As he tells it, it took 3 months of prayer to discern what God would have him do. Guy served as a temporary teacher at UCBC for more than a year before we were able to offer him a permanent position.

L-R: Victor, me, Guy, Wilfred

We are learning together, learning how to work together across our cultural experiences and styles and navigating the challenges of language. I’m the deficient one, of course, with an insufficient French vocabulary. Thankfully, Wilfred and Victor are fluent English speakers and Guy has solid competency in English. Wilfred and Victor have IT knowledge, of course, and some exposure to telecentres. Guy brings business planning and development knowledge. I have been reading about telecentres for a couple of years, but have never visited one. And, of course, Guy, Victor, and Wilfred understand the community context here in Beni.

There are two major activities on the immediate horizon. One is to visit well-established and successful telecentres in Rwanda and Uganda. The opportunity to see telecentres in action and talk to the managers will assist in our planning. The second activity is to have a series of public meetings here in Beni to determine the nature of the telecentre. The meetings are a combination data gathering, marketing, and relationship-building.

Thunderstorm

It's Sunday afternoon. A thunderstorm has just washed through Beni. The sounds of the neighborhood have sprung back to life. Motos roar along the roads. Roosters rename the day. Songbirds renew their chirping. From the surrounding compounds I hear the voices of women and children punctuated by the clanging of aluminum pans as they tend to cooking and washing.

I love the thunderstorms here. Swaths of black clouds gather from across the sky, and convene in ever-expanding battalions of black and grey. The clouds are giants of grace and power. The remind me of Tolkien’s Ents.

Then suddenly, the clouds break wide open and spill torrents of water that race across rooftops and roads.

Teaching an English class

“Creation Care and the Common Good” began last week. It’s an English class for UCBC students who have completed the English curriculum. The purpose of the class is to help students “strengthen reading, writing, discourse, and critical thinking” within their disciplines. The course “looks at creation care and the common good from a Judeo-Christian perspective, and in the context of personal experience.” The class is intended to help students improve their English. It is also intended to provoke students’ thinking about the created world and the common good. If students wrestle with their assumptions, ideas, and beliefs about the created world and about the common good and leave the class with some new perspectives, questions, and ideas, then it will have succeeded.

The course objectives and outcomes are ambitious, for a class that meets 4 hours/week for 8 weeks. But there is considerable more focus in the course today then when I first began developing it back in April. And the course will look different next time, if there is a next time.

It’s good to be back in an English class. It’s been a long time. The teaching and facilitating I’ve been doing over the past several years has been in curriculum development, instruction, and assessment—professional development content for teachers here at UCBC. It was time to get back into the classroom, have my own experience as a teacher here at UCBC, and put my own advice and coaching into action.

There are 18 students in the class—good number. They are from the four faculties/disciplines here at UCBC: communications, economics, applied sciences, theology. There is a range of English ability among the students, and, most likely, a range of interest and academic ability. But that will be part of the fun (translate, challenge!).

Our first day focused on the syllabus—purpose, outcomes, evidence, assessment. Rather than talk through each section as a class, students read in pairs, helping each other understand and clarify. One of the questions was, “What do you mean ‘Judeo-Christian’?” This question was a reminder that my own assumptions, vocabulary, and perspectives will be challenged consistently during this time with students.

One of the assignments that the students have over the class is a set of 4 reflections, each based on a personal experience with the created world. Each reflection has two parts: (1) an experience, and (2) a written reflection. For the experience students are to sit alone and quietly in a natural setting to simply observe and experience that environment for 20 minutes. They are to be quiet—no cell phone, no music, no friends. Just sit and experience and observe. They may take notes or sketch, but not analyze or explain. For part 2, the written reflection, students are to take 30 minutes to write their reflections on that experience. They are to do that writing within 48 hours of the experience itself. Each of the 4 experiences is to have a specific focus: water, flora, fauna, night.

The assignment is intended to encourage students to see things from a different, new, or unfamiliar perspective. I’ve introduced the language of “lenses”—that we wear lenses to the world based on our personal experiences, culture, family. And this course is to challenge students to use different lenses to see the created world and consider what it means to serve the “common good.” Another purpose of the assignment is to provide content from which to address metacognitive practices—thinking about thinking. I suspect that students’ reflections will be of different types. I’m expecting some students to describe what they saw in factual terms, others to describe their thoughts during the experience, and others to write about what they did during the time. My hope is that there will be sufficient range of reflection types and foci to talk about metacognition and its role in facilitating our own learning.

We shall see…

By the way...a huge "thank you" to my sister, Ann Shaw. She's my instructional coach and researcher!

We have a cat

We have a cat at Tumaini House. We have a rooster. Each has a brief but specific job description.

            Cat: Catch rats and mice. Keep rodents out of the house.

            Rooster: Submit to the knife. You are dinner.

Dinner dares to enter the house

The rooster has been with us for about 5 days. He was a gift to Susan and Tim, current members of the household who served as missionaries here in Beni in 1980s. The rooster has managed to settle into life at Tumaini House. He circles the compound and checks out the bugs. He prefers roosting on the porch furniture at night to being shut into the outside storage shed—a 4’ square concrete closet that clangs shut with an iron door. I don’t blame him. He asserts his independence by marching into the house, but is quickly swooshed away when any of us discovers him. He’ll be welcome in the house tonight, though. In a pot. 

Hope she's up to the job!

The cat was a $5 purchase at the market on Friday. Yes, cats come for a price—about the same cost as a 1-lb wheel of cheese or 2 litres of gasoline. She’s really a kitten, probably weighs ¼ lb, and about as long as a pencil. We’ve named her Frieda—a strong-sounding, northern European name that we hope will inspire her to feistiness and fight.

I admit, I had been holding off getting a cat. Veterinary care here is limited. Only the fittest that can survive without human intervention make it in this part of the world. Unfortunately, rats are among the fittest. The current renting rodents have survived our attempts to trap them. So, after a hilarious skirmish between 4 adult humans and one 6” rat in my bedroom the other evening, I was glad to welcome a cat into the house. 

We do not lose heart

Most days I use Forward Movement's Forward Day by Day as a guide to my morning reading, prayer, and meditation time. Today I read the "wrong" day. Instead of reading Thursday, May 3, I read Tuesday, May 1. Must be this travel stuff (I'm currently in transit from US to DRC, with a day stay in Uganda). Wrong day. Right readings.

The Eucharistic reading for May 1 was 2 Corinthians, 4:1-6. Verse 1 spoke to me, "Since it is by God's mercy that we are engaged in this ministry, we do not lose heart."

I needed that verse this morning. Tomorrow I travel overland to Beni, DRC, to rejoin my Congolese colleagues in the on-the-ground work with Congo Initiative and Université Chrétienne Bilingue du Congo. Over the last few weeks that I've been home in the US, I've allowed fear and self-doubt to shape my expectations for these next three months. There is no denying it. The work of CI and UCBC is hard work. The vision, mission, and goals are audacious. The needs are overwhelming. The resources, at least by human standards, are meager. And my abilities are a broken umbrella in a sandstorm of possibilities. It is easy to lose heart.

"Since it is by God's mercy that we are engaged in this ministry, we do not lose heart."

Then, during breakfast this morning, Chelsie Frank and I caught up. We talked about the time each of us had at home in April, and our hopes, goals, fears, anxieties, anticipations about being back in Beni. We acknowledged that among the many challenges is the tension between personality and reality (well, we didn't use those words). When one has a personality that sees a challenge, problem, or opportunity as an invitation to do something,  it is hard to live in a situation where challenges are far greater than any one person can do. But one of Congo's gifts is that she reminds me that I am insufficient, but that God is sufficient ("My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Cor. 12:9).

I was also reminded of a lesson I learned more than 20 years ago: When I acknowledge my weaknesses, I know the greatest strength. That strength is not mine. It is not my muscle, my intellect, my financial resources. It is the strength of a Higher Power manifested through other people, through situations, through creation. That's a lesson that I've reviewed and renewed many times over the years. It's a lesson that I've relearned in Congo

David Kasali often says that "God is using Congo." People may go to Congo to "serve," and "to do." But in reality, it is Congo that serves, teaches, molds, and shapes. It is certainly true for me. Congo teaches me. It reminds me that it doesn't matter that I am weak. I am insufficient. But God is sufficient. It is by God's mercy that I am privileged to be part of the work that is Congo Initiative. That is enough encouragement so that I "do not lose heart."

PS: While writing this, I had a Skype message from Joel Asiimwe, recent UCBC graduate: "We're eagerly waiting to see you back in your second home, the land of the blessed, Congo."

No, I do not lose heart.

A Lesson in Grace

This is not a lesson I’m proud of. But it’s true. And, as Frederich Buechner reminds us in Telling Secrets, we’d all do better as a faith community if we told the truth about ourselves. So, here’s a little truth-telling.

On Saturday I subbed in an English class. The part that I hate to admit: I was holding onto some resentments. Sure, I agreed to help out a colleague, but I wasn’t happy about it. No one’s fault but my own. (I've made my amends). I was also enjoying the Sweet-Tart of resentment at a couple of others colleagues. (The reason doesn't matter. What does is that I need to do Steps 4-10.)

Back to Saturday. The plans indicated that I would be free to do my own work after giving a quiz and talking through some information with the class. I only had an hour of responsibility. The students would self-manage their work for the remaining 3 hours of class.

Well, remember, “If you think you know the plans…”? J’oublie (I forget. A statement in French that I don't forget!).

The quiz took longer than planned. The mini-lecture took longer than planned. Students had more questions than time allowed. I had neglected to make photocopies of the day’s assignment on Friday. So, in the interim when students moved from the classroom to the library, urgently pleaded with the photocopier to comply with my needs. The power shut off in the middle of photocopying, lodging a piece of paper in mid-copy. After the power resumed, it was 10 minutes of trying to problem-solve before I waved the white flag, surrendered to machine, and ran down the hall to where students were trying to figure out my hasty explanations. Did I mention that I had been harboring resentments?

Students started crowding around me with questions about the assignment. And questions about assignments I didn’t know about. And questions about how to proceed with or without assigned partners. And questions about…

I so wanted to take the lid off the grudge sludge and dump it on the floor. But God intervened. Grace intervened. Lessons hard-learned over the last many years whispered truths, including one of the most difficult for me, “Be present. Be in the moment.” I saw the situation for what it was. Students trying to do their work. Students desiring to learn. The only person deserving of my irritation was me. My character defect, willfulness, was eager to lay claim to the moment. It was a decision-point: 


Decide to show grace or to be___ (multiple choice):

A. A_ _

B. B_ _ _ _ 

C. Creep

D. All the above

I don’t take credit for the decision to show grace. It was God, in God’s great mercy and grace. God gave grace to me, so that I, in turn, could show grace to the students. Thank you, Jesus.

The evening before I had listened to two podcasts of Rob Bell preaching at Mars Hill Church. The first was a teaching on Grace from November 6, 2011. The second was a teaching on I John 2, about Love, from May 30, 2011.

Find them. Listen to them. These are the kinds of messages that Christians should be known for—showing love and grace—not anti-abortion, homophobia, “family values,” and “protecting our borders."

Anyway…a few things about grace that prepared me for Saturday (with thanks to Rob Bell):

Grace meets us in the moment when we are most terrified of being found out. Grace confronts us with who we truly are. It’s when we are afraid that our worst secrets, character defects, failures, doubts, hurts, perverse thoughts will be found out, that grace shows up.

Grace shines a light, not to embarrass us, but to say, “Yes, this is true. But now that you admit it, you own the fear, the secret, the failure. You seize its power. It no longer has power over you.” A friend one time reminded me, “Yes, you may not like what's going on. But it is a fact. And once you accept it, you will be able to deal with it and move forward.” And he was right.

Saturday I was afraid that my ugly side, my sick desire for the resentment Sweet-Tart, was going to expose itself. Grace showed up. Shined a mirror and a spotlight in my face. I was able to accept my nasty side and say, “No.”

Grace is a gift. It’s not something we earn. It is true gift. And part of what is so surprising is that the gift comes when we least “deserve” it. It comes when we’re so sure of our weakness and failure and deceit. It came on Saturday when I didn’t deserve it. I was not in a pretty place. But grace showed up.

When grace confronts us it also says, “You’re better than that.” It reminds us that we are made in God’s image. That, as the Hasidic tradition says, we each have a divine spark at our core. On Saturday grace reminded me that I was better than resentment and nastiness; better than A, B, and C. Not better in the sense of superiority, but that I could behave better. Made in the image of God, I had the opportunity to act better than my base instinct.

More profoundly, though, grace has shown up in dark places in my past—places where I have been ashamed. It has shone the light and invited me to step out and be free of the shame.

So, I haven’t said anything about the podcast on love. Maybe that’s for another entry. But, one of the daily readings Saturday morning, before I went to school, was I Corinthians 13:1-13. Thank you, God, for the booster shot I didn’t know I needed.

Nothing matters but love. Nothing. Absolutely NOTHING. Spiritual gifts. Prophesy. Knowledge. Faith. Actions. Self-sacrifice. Tithing. Giving gifts of any sort. Giving up of self. Nothing matters but love. Because love never ends. It is God. It is the Word. It is Jesus. It is Jesus living in us. Prophesies come to an end. Knowledge comes to an end. Actions come to an end. There is something eternal and cosmically connected. It is all love.

I listened to the Grace podcast again this morning. Bell plays the opening of the movie Tree of Life with the following narration:

The nuns taught us there are two ways through life. The Way of Nature and the Way of Grace. We have to choose which one to follow. Grace doesn’t try to please itself. Accepts being slighted, forgotten, disliked. Accepts insults and injuries. Nature only wants to please itself and others to please it too. Likes to lord it over them, to have its own way. It finds reasons to be unhappy when all the world is shining around it and love is smiling through all things. They taught us that no one who ever lives the Way of Grace ever comes to a bad end.

Sounds a bit like I Corinthians 13, doesn’t it?

God, please don’t give up on me. Not yet. I need your grace. Today and always. Help me to live the Way of Grace, to be an instrument of your grace.


And here's another tidbit: Paul bookends each of his epistles (Romans through Philemon) with "Grace and peace to you," and "Grace be with you." I guess Paul thought grace was important.

Gifts

Congo gives me gifts daily. Well, it’s really God working through this place. But it’s in this raw, harsh, dusty place that God graces me with lessons and reminders of a great and extravagant love. God doesn’t give up on me. God, in His and Her infinite love and mercy, graces me, each day with gifts large and small: gentle lessons, saints here on earth, tiny beauties, whispers of joy. And grace.

A recent saints experience: The other day I was walking home from school through our neighborhood. The Beni version of congestion is a cacophony of motos, pedestrians, bicycles with heavy loads, and busy outlining the road. As I rounded the corner to our street, a moto with a woman passenger leaned into me as the driver attempted to outwit another moto speeding up behind. I tumbled over into a woman emptying a bucket of water, and the two motos landed, one of top of the other, against me. As the other taxi drivers parked at the corner dashed over, my first concern was for the drivers’ safety. I have seen a bit of the local street justice. No one was hurt. I was fine. The passenger appeared unfazed. In the melee it appeared that the other drivers were simply trying to assist. 


Out of the crowd emerged Mama Lillian, a sister to Mama Furaha and Mama Odette. She dashed up to me, clasped my arm with a look of concern. I assured her I was OK. No injuries. Just a minor tumble. She put her arm through mine and escorted me down the street to our house. Once inside the gate, she greeted her sisters with great voice and launched into an elaborate, animated, and highly energized retelling of the events, complete with a diagram of the action. How I wish I could have understood all that she said.

Mamas Odette (L), Lillian (C), and Furaha (R)

“So, why do you call this a saint experience”? you ask? Because it’s just one of many examples of how new friends and Congolese sisters and brothers daily appear in my life. Sure, I was fine. I didn’t need any comforting. But Lillian showed up, a kind and exuberant woman concerned for my well-being. Isn’t that what we all should be for each other?

Beni truths

A few truths gleaned from daily life in Beni

It’s a good morning every day.  If you’re white and walk anywhere around Beni’s neighborhoods, you’ll be greeted “Goodt mawhrning!” and “How are you?” (with a distinct and sudden rise in the voice at you). All the kids in Beni know the first lesson in the school’s English curriculum, "Everyday greetings." Even if they are too young to be in school. It doesn’t matter whether it’s 6am, 12 noon, or 6pm. Every child between the age of 2 and 12 will holler out from across the road, “Goodt mawhrning! How are you?” Some afternoons I go through my little American tantrum and respond, “Good afternoon,” or “Good evening.” But it’s a futile exercise. The first lesson in any foreign language curriculum is greetings. And besides, what’s so bad about being reminded that regardless of the time of day or my own sassy irritation, that it really is a “Goodt mawhrning” for someone?

Out of peanut butter this morning!

The first piece of bread from the loaf really is the best. Even if it’s bread made that morning and bought in the Matonge Market at noon. 

If you think you know how your day is going to go, you don’t really. At 9am this past Monday I was named “deputy Rector” for a day, or two, or maybe three? With three members of the Management Committee out of the country (doing Ph.D. work) and the Rector out of town for a couple of days, I suddenly found myself with the responsibility of “keeping things going, administratively.” Surprise!

Preparation? No. Previous experience in higher education administration? No. Command of the French language? Definitely, NO. Full understanding of the policies, protocols, and procedures of running a Congolese university? No. Dressed appropriately for the role? No (at least not on Monday—it was “casual dress day” out of my closet, sleeveless shirt and skirt barely below the knees). Prepared to greet a visiting delegation from a Congolese NGO (whose name I still don’t know)? No. “Ja’m appelle Mary? Vous-appelez vous?” Thankfully, Kizito, master of all things PR, carried the conversation. (I wouldn’t blame him for something like, “Yes, please smile and be gracious to Mama Mary. She’s doing the best she can. She’s a pathetic representation of a Rector, but it’s all we’ve got today. Come back next week and you’ll meet the real thing.”)

But the buildings are still standing. No one has resigned. Students have been coming to class. And my UCBC colleagues have rolled with this punch, filled in the gaps of my ignorance, and laughed right along with me.

Best fries in the world

There’s nothing so bad that Gabby’s peanut butter or Mama Furaha’s fries can’t fix. I didn’t grow up in a family that depended on food for comfort. Why is it, though, when I’m stressed, fatigued, frustrated, sad, worried, _____ (yes, fill in the blank), I go to food? And here in Beni, it’s Gabby’s peanut butter, ground by hand from fresh peanuts (locally grown and organic) or Mama’s frites, hot and fresh out of the oil, crispy, golden and oh-so-perfect.

Just one of many

Goats are God’s good humor. How can you not smile at a goat or three or more? These wide-eyed, stiff-legged bumblers are Beni's dandelions. They show up everywhere they belong and don’t. And where yesterday day there were three, tomorrow there will be five new ones. You're supposed to hold them in some disdain and ignore them (or in the case of dandelions, pull them out). But, truth be told, goats are curious little critters in all color combinations--speckled black and white, brown with black markings, grey and dappled. Four-month-old kids butt heads in a show of bravado, reminiscent of high school football players chest-bumping after a touchdown. Does trot down the road, ahead of their petulant, bleating youngsters. Every morning there is the “Marco-Polo” call of kids who have just realized that breakfast just trotted off the compound. And each evening the  "Marco-Polo" game repeats as mama goats head home and their youngsters scramble to keep up.

Baby basil

There is always a surprise in the Beni Cracker-Jack box. And they are there for a reason. To remind me to smile at the daily joys in life and laugh at my own too-serious antics to maintain what? A semblance of order? Control? One from yesterday: A tiny sprout of basil growing in a crack in the pavement. I had dead-headed the basil plants a few days ago and thoughtlessly crumbled the flower heads. And now, a cute sprout takes advantage of Congo's great growing power.

Voila!

Good Noise Down the Hall

Ryan (L) and Wilfred (R) listen
as students work through sceanrios

It's Saturday. I'm here at school, working away. Communications students are taking exams. An English class is handing in papers. Wilfred Mushagalusha, UCBC's Applied Sciences professor, is hosting a special seminar for his students. All of a sudden there is great rumbling of voices echoing down the hall. It's the sound of students. That healthy, loud buzz of work and discussion, and excitement.

I grab my camera and pop into Wilfred's class. Ryan Metcalf, Macintosh support specialist at Wheaton College (and potential long-term volunteer/International Staff person here at UCBC), is leading a seminar on "Customer Service and Computer Support." As part of the teaching, Ryan has put together scenarios for students to work through in pairs. One person is the user; the other is the customer service/support person. For example:

• User wants to connect to the Internet, but knows very little about how to do so or how to navigate the browser. The user is frustrated. The customer service/support person has to use common language, demonstrate calmness, and ask questions to deduce the problem, then gently guide the user through the necessary steps....all the while exhibiting good customer service skills.
• User's computer is running slowly. The customer service/support person needs to problem solve, with the user, who knows nothing about de-fragging or other potential sources of the problem. The solution to the problem is that the computer needs to be de-fragged.

And that's what the noise is about.

What fun to look inside and see students talking excitedly with each other, working through the real-life scenarios drawn from real-life experiences.

Another volunteer here right now, Joost Hartog, said that he's noticed that UCBC faculty and students are different from other Congolese he's met and worked with. "They think. They try to problem-solve. It's a different mentality than I've experienced."

Forget the bad news that comes out of Congo. There is plenty of good news here! There is good teaching. There is good thinking. There is skill-building. There is a desire to serve and strengthen communities. There are sounds of life and learning! The noise and the news are good!

A New Owner’s Guide to Beagles. NOT

Part of the vision for UCBC is that students and faculty will be leaders in their fields. They will engage in deep research and imagine and promote new solutions to age-old challenges. They will participate with colleagues across the continent and the globe. They will be 21^st Century learners and educators.

There are some gaps we need to fill in order to get there, though.

To begin with, most of our students lack basic knowledge and skills to use a library’s resources, including searching, evaluating, and choosing resources (print and digital). Many faculty lack the knowledge and skills also. The reason? The prevailing system of education in Congo is one based on transmission of information from teacher to student via lecture. Libraries are either non-existent or boxes of cast-off books from well-meaning westerners.

Second, will need to develop our library. Admittedly, the UCBC library is in better shape than many of its peers. We have a designated room where there are books, computers, shelves, and desks. We have two staff designated to serve as librarians, eager to learn and become professional librarians. They need that training.

Calling all Congolese beagle-owners

We have books, maybe 1000-1500. The majority are remnants of garage sales. There are probably as many Nora Roberts and Danielle Steele novels as there are books algebra, Congolese history, and sociology texts. A New Owner's Guide to Beagles, Chicken Soup for the Busy Mother, and the Boxcar Children might as well be written in Sanskrit, for all they have to offer our students and faculty. There are books from well-intentioned teachers and academics who have cleared out their own libraries, and some kind donations from a couple of colleges and churches. Thanks to the efforts of some international staff and visitors who want to help build up the library, we also have a handful of new and appropriate titles, including French and English dictionaries!

Our staff record and organize books according to general themes, but the library lacks a cataloguing system.

Then there is the challenge of access to digital resources. Current internet speed is limited—less than 1/20^th the speed of the connection speed in the average US household. For students and faculty who rely on one of UCBC’s computers, the window of opportunity to get online is limited to 8:30am-noon and 1:00-4:30, Monday-Friday.

But rather than worry about what we don’t have, we look at what we do have.

First we have students and faculty with a desire to learn and an eagerness to fully engage in the world of academic and intellectual pursuit. One of our library staff, anticipating the arrival of Joost Hartog, an ICT and computer skills instructor, approached me to set up his schedule for the week. He wanted to be sure to block out time to work with Joost and take advantage of his presence. “I want to be a professional. I want to learn how to help our students research and use the computer.”

Lwanzo unpacking new donations

Second, we have designated space for our library. From the beginning, the UCBC leadership committed to developing a library for the university. It was Dr. Kasali, Rector of UCBC, who corrected the Minister of Education about the role of libraries in education. When David went to register UCBC in Kinshasa, the Minister said,  “To have a good university you need land, buildings, students, and teachers.” David responded, “You also need a good library.”

Third, we have new friends and resources who advise us. Engineering Ministries International East Africa (eMi) has is developing a plan for our power needs. The plan will facilitate wise decision-making as to construction and how to build out our power systems in an organized, financially-responsible manner.  We have new friends in the Netherlands who are helping us connect to resources for skill-building for faculty, staff, and students (computer skills, ICT, information literacy, and librarianship training). Chief among them are friends from the Royal Tropical Institute (KIT), Henk van Dam and African Jumanne, and Helen Boelens of the European Network for School Librariesand Information Literacy (ENSIL).

Some of our better titles

Fourth, we have a couple of grant proposals, including one recently submitted to the Zimmer Family Foundation, entitled “EQUIP Project: Creating a Quality University Library for Université Chrétienne Bilingue du Congo (UCBC).” Thanks go to Cullen Rodgers-Gates, Director of US Operations of CI, and Howard Brown, member of the Board of US Operations of CI. A major part of the grant is training for library staff and UCBC faculty in information literacy and ICT skills, so they can then teach their students by integrating this instruction into their curriculum. The grant also provides for librarianship training for our library staff, and improving the library’s resources (e.g., new books appropriate to a university library. Thanks to Henk and Helen for their assistance in writing the proposal. 

Our vision that UCBC students and faculty be fully engaged as 21^st Century learners and scholars may be bold. But we are on our way!

A Reading from Ash Wednesday: Psalm 103

One of readings for Ash Wednesday was Psalm 103, which begins and ends with, "Bless the Lord, O my soul." 

Some thoughts:

“As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him. For he knows how we were made; he remembers that we are dust.” vs. 13-14.

I remembered a photo of my father holding my week-old son. Dad, who was uncomfortable holding babies, fearful he’d hurt or drop them, is deep in thought, prayer, exhaustion, lament, worry, intercession. Carl is sound asleep on his shoulder. What should have been a moment of great joy was one of anxiety, as my parents were reeling from the news that my marriage was disintegrating. The photo captures my dad's concern and compassion. 

This is my picture of God, the father, who “has compassion on his children.” God the father who loves, groans for us, weeps for us, yearns for our well-being.

God forgives, heals, redeems, crowns with love and mercy, satisfies and renews.
There's a progression here in this first part of the Psalm (vs. 1-5). God forgives us for our sins, our acts of disobedience, our behavior toward each other and toward creation. He heals. We need healing from our wounds—wounds that we inflict on others, wounds we inflict on ourselves, wounds we inflict on creation. It is not enough to be forgiven. We must also be healed from the trauma. God redeems. God makes anew, recreates, raises up out of the ashes. Transforms hearts, minds. Anoints us. Takes what was damaged and makes something new—something we couldn’t have imagined. Crowns with love and mercy. Gives us what we need to move forward, to serve again and anew. God gives us the gifts of love and mercy to share with others. Satisfies and renews. What more to say?

God is just and mighty. God is tender and compassionate.
This second section of the Psalm (vs. 6-14) begins with image of the mighty, just and righteous—the God of great power, authority, integrity. The God on high. But it concludes with the image of the tender, compassionate father—the parent who knows the child—knows the circumstances of the child’s conception, birth, and family. The picture is of the father who knows intimately who and why the child is as she is. This father does not judge, but loves and is full of compassion.

But there is something else. Verse 6 says, "The Lord works vindication and justice for all who are oppressed." God is merciful. He vindicates the oppressed. He brings justice. But then the section continues to recount God’s mercy and grace. God does not hold his anger. "The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. He will not always accuse, nor will he keep his anger forever. He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities." This includes the oppressor. 

What a slap upside my self-righteous head! I had been on the cheering squad in verse 6, “Yeah, God! Free the oppressed! Bring justice!” But then the Psalm spins me around and reminds me that once God brings justice, God then “forgives, heals, redeems, crowns, and satisfies.” Yes, God has compassion even on the perpetrator. The oppressor is one of “his children” too.

And to be honest, I perpetrate, oppress, and harm. I may not knowingly enslave another human being. But my buying preferences, my desire for “affordable” (read: “cheap”) goods may fuel a business built on human slavery. The newest piece of technology I buy was most likely assembled in a factory of inhumane working conditions. And how do I harm or oppress people in my daily life? What attitudes do I harbor? What words do I use? God forgives, heals, redeems, crowns, and satisfies me. Again.

Verses 15-18 is a bit distant. It's written in the 3rd person

As if we need to step outside a bit and look more analytically? Speaks about "mere mortals," and "those who fear" God. The section before used 1st person: God "removes our transgressions from us," and "knows how we were made." But now it's 3rd person. We step back a bit. And the writer uses simile. Mortals "are like grass; they flourish like a flower." But God's love is "steadfast." Still love. Still everlasting.

We are called to join the rest of creation--that part of creation that does God's bidding.
At the end, verses 19-22, we come back around a call to bless God. First there is the call to the angels, hosts, ministers—the heavenly bodies ("Bless the Lord, O you his angels, you mighty ones who do his bidding") and creation ("Bless the Lord, all his works, in all places"). This is a great chorus of creation and angels and mighty ones—all that God created during the first 5 days. This is all of creation that follows God’s precepts. It’s we human beings, we mortals who break the laws, disturb the order, insist on our way, who need to be reminded to bless the Lord. Everything else in creation does what God has ordained.

And then the bookend: "Bless the Lord, O my soul." I am part of this wonder that is creation. I am one of many. One of an entire universe. And God knows me.

I'm needing that reminder these days. "Bless the Lord, O my soul." In everything, in every way. For God forgives me, heals me, redeems my life and my choices and my actions, gives me the benefits and gifts of love and mercy, and satisfies me "with good." 

A holy cycle.