Another lesson in humility

Word arrived yesterday that the door to return to Beni is closed to me right now. My colleagues at UCBC have decided to postpone the General Assembly (Congolese board of CI-UCBC) which had been scheduled for next week. Continued insecurity thwarts human plans. It has been deemed unsafe for members of the board who live outside of Beni to travel to the city.

I confess disappointment and sadness. I confess selfishness. In the midst of other's suffering, and as the stories of fear, death, atrocities continue to mount, I think about my own disappointment. I want to be in Beni. I want to see and talk to and work, side-by-side, with my friends, colleagues, and family there. But, the story is not about me.

Last night as our CI-UCBC diaspora met for evening prayer (we are now 1 Canadian, 2 Congolese, and 5 Americans), we lamented the atrocities continuing around Beni and across DRC. Othy and Archip recounted Congo's recent history, punctuating the story of corruption and greed with claims of hope. "This evil will not last. We are a new generation. God will prevail. This is only a transition to something new." We also spoke of Congo's beauty and promise, of the love and creativity and joy of its people. We prayed and lamented the current atrocities, pleading with God for deliverance and protection for each and every person, for the country.

We concluded our prayer, and Archip apologized for his tears. He shared a story from his childhood--an experience that no 8-year-old should have, but an experience that too many children across Congo and the world share. Othy took his friend's hand. For the next 15 minutes we sat as Archip relived his memories, and Othy spoke words of promise and hope. "Yes, we suffer now. But God is with us. God has not forgotten us." Othy reminded us of the story of the Israelites who suffered Pharaoh's oppression until the time God ordained their release. Kate reminded us of the story of Paul who persecuted Christians only to be touched by God and transformed as one of the first great teachers of The Way.

Then the Psalm for this morning, Psalm 37 with its reminders:

Do not fret because of the wicked; do not be envious of wrongdoers, for they will soon fade like the grass and wither like the green herb. 

Trust in the Lord, and do good; so you will live in the land and enjoy security.

Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. 

Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act. 

He will make your vindication shine like the light, and the justice of your cause like the noonday.

Kaswera (L) and Rebecca (R)

Be still before the Lord, and wait patiently for him; do not fret over those who prosper in their way, over those who carry out evil devices. 

Refrain from anger, and forsake wrath.  

Do not fret--it leads only to evil.... (vs. 1-8)

Our steps are made firm by the Lord, when he delights in our way; though we stumble, we shall not fall headlong, for the Lord holds us by the hand.... (vs. 23-24)

Victor (front) and Ndjabu (behind)

Depart from evil, and do good; so you shall abide forever;
For the Lord loves justice; he will not forsake his faithful ones.... (vs. 27-28)

The salvation of the righteous is from the Lord; he is their refuge in the time of trouble;
The Lord helps them and rescues them; he rescues them from the wicked, and saves them, because they take refuge in him. (vs. 39-40)

Archip

My thoughts turned to Othy and Archip--two intelligent, eager young men who are examples of hope. They are examples of living a life of faith and hope even when everything around them demands despair.

Then the faces of so many Congolese sisters, brothers, daughters, and sons came to mind: David, Daniel, Kavira, Manassé, Honoré, Decky, Kaswera, Sifa Jolie, Faden, Rebecca, Nellie, Victor. The list is long.

Decky

In spite of challenges, even in spite of horrors, they continue to trust in the Lord and "do good." They "depart from evil and do
good." They are living witnesses to another Way.

Thanks be to God.

Hope

The Advent Hymn O Come, O Come, Emmanuel calls us to remember the hope of God’s promise to restore the world—all creation, all humanity, all relationships.

Oh, come, our Dayspring from on high,
And cheer us by your drawing nigh,
Disperse the gloomy clouds of night,
And death's dark shadows put to flight.
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel
Shall come to you, O Israel!

This hope is not empty. The hope is fulfilled in large and small ways. Just this week Othy Vitswamba and Archip Lobo, UCBC graduates and current staff members, were examples of that hope. They put on "the armor of light" and "put to flight" dark shadows.

Othy and Archip were traveling from Beni to join the CI-UCBC International Staff in Kampala for a week of training with UCBC visiting researcher, Lise vanOverbeeke. At the border the DRC immigration officer demanded $20 to stamp Archip's brand new passport, even though there is no regulation on the books that a fee should be charged for this purpose. Othy and Archip recounted the story.

We spent twenty minutes explaining to the official that we were not going to pay the bribe. We told her, "No. This is wrong. There is no such law." She insisted, "This is how it always is." 

So we said, “And this is why our country is the way it is, because of corruption, because people do not want to do their jobs correctly. You are stealing from our people, from our country. 

The officer challenged us. “Ah! But this is how it is. This is how it was even before you were born. Do you think you can change that? Do you think you are the ones who can change this country? 

We told her, “Yes! We are the ones who will change this country! Our generation will change things." 

She said, “You have money. You are traveling to Uganda. You are with a university. You can pay. I have to do such things so I can get money and my children can go to school.” 

“If we continue like this and you do not do your job properly, then your kids will never have money. They will never be able to go to school. But if we change and do things differently, then you will profit and your kids will profit.” We saw a change in her eyes. She let us go! “OK,  we will see if you can change this country.” 

At the next office, the medical officer demanded $70 to verify our vaccinations.  We told him “No,” and explained that we were going to Kampala for training to help our country, so he should help us. He asked, “If you think you can change this country then you live in a fantasy!” 

We told him, “No, this is a reality. We are leaders of this country. Nothing will take this hope from us.” 

Then he stood up to shake our hands. “We never meet people who speak like you. We will encourage you. Did you train in social science?”

We laughed. “No! I am a computer engineer and my friend here studied communications!”

Othy (L) and Archip (R)

After relaying their story, Archip commented, “I was shocked that all these people have lost hope. They are the ones who should show us the good way. They should be setting a good example for us. Congo is the way it is because most people have lost hope. There were other workers in those offices, and they all heard us. Five people heard our message of hope. We have already done part of the work. If each one of us from UCBC shares this message with just five people, can you imagine what we will do?”

Yes, even in the midst of darkness, God's promise to restore an redeem shines. Our "Dayspring from on high" attends even now.

Thanks be to God.

Still waiting in Uganda

The CI-UCBC International Staff received word this week that we are to delay our return to Beni for another several days, perhaps a week. The situation in Beni is stabilizing. The 6:30pm – 6:00am curfew remains in place and the city has been spared large-scale events. A few days ago an attack on a village just north of the UCBC campus was repulsed without casualties. Two arrests were made the following day. They resulted in the confession of an a FARDC (DRC army) soldier to complicity in that and previous attacks. The resulting investigations have given citizens some assurance that authorities are taking action. CI-UCBC leadership and staff remain in close and consistent contact with a variety of security sources, local government, and NGOs. 

But the verdict for us is, “Wait.”

Waiting is work. It isn’t easy work. We Americans like to do. We like outcomes and evidence. We like completed reports and PowerPoint presentations, painted fences and repaired plumbing, the kitchen cleaned and the trash emptied. But sometimes the work we are called to do is to wait, to sit in the middle of our powerlessness. We are, after all, powerless over people, places, and circumstances. The only real power any of us has is power over ourselves and our responses to people, places, and circumstances. The rest is illusion.

Waiting is an opportunity to sit in the silences, to listen, to feel breath and heartbeat. Waiting is time to open our eyes and see what we miss when we are busy with our doing.

So what are some of the things my eyes have opened to during waiting time? Here are a few: 

• My character defects. In spite of my best efforts to be self-aware, my impatience and desire to be in charge slip in through the cracks in the day. 
• Memories in need of healing. Some very old and not-so-old memories have stepped out of the closet and into my heart. This waiting time gave them permission to reveal themselves. This waiting time offered space for them to breathe and heal. 
• Smiling. I want to smile more. I will smile more.
• Answers to prayer. God continues to strengthen, heal, and protect loved ones in Beni, in the US, and elsewhere. Two UCBC staff members are brand new parents, and we rejoice in the safe deliveries of their babies. People who were sick are now well. Loved ones who have been struggling know respite.
• Young leaders at UCBC living into their responsibilities. Service learning interns have been meeting with faculty to advise on curriculum. The YECA Fellows and Creation Care Committee have introduced their plans to the UCBC community and welcomed new members into their ranks. 

O God of peace, who has taught us that in returning and rest we shall be saved, in quietness and in confidence shall be our strength; By the might of your Spirit lift us, we pray, to your presence, where we may be still and know that you are God; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

BCP, Prayer for Quiet Confidence, p. 832

“…so said all the disciples."

Today’s gospel reading is Matthew 26:26-35. The last supper,  Jesus’ prophesy that the disciples will “all become deserters,” and Peter’s declaration (v. 34), “Even though I must die with you, I will not deny you.”

Then verse 35, “And so said all the disciples.” 

Peter gets the bad rap. He’s the one quoted in the gospels. But, “So said all the disciples”! They all promised fidelity. And then they all panicked and ran for cover.

Growing up, I heard the stories from the Bible as stories happening to other people. The Israelites crossed the Red Sea, wandered in the wilderness, disobeyed God, and complained when manna became a boring staple. Samson became proud and arrogant. The disciples tripped over each other, argued, and missed the point many times. Then there were the Pharisees and Sadducees. Terrible ones, they. Sure, there were stories about people doing the right thing—Miriam hiding her baby brother, Ruth sticking by Naomi, Rahab protecting the spies, John the Baptist prophesying, even the disciples managing, on occasion, to figure things out.

But always I saw these as stories about other people in other times. Sure we were to learn from their examples, but the stories were about the other. They were someone else’s stories.

Chalk it up to ignorance, immaturity, “seeing through a glass darkly.”

I don’t know that I’m any smarter or mature (aged, yes). And my eyesight continues to deteriorate with the passage of time. But God in Her and His graciousness helped me to see that these are my stories also.

So when Peter and the disciples promise that they will stick by Jesus no matter what, I am there. It’s not just that I make those promises, then run for cover when exhaustion, pride, frustration, and life challenge me to a “double-dog-dare.” I am there with that group of brothers in the middle of the night. I stand with the whole lot and promise, “I will not deny you.” I am implicated. Those are my words, too.

But that doesn’t keep Jesus from loving me, from coming back and extending grace and love. Even days later, when I don’t recognize Him, Jesus walks with me on the road.

God-carrier

I’m selfish. I admit it. I want people to do things the way I think they should be done. I want events to unfold according to my expectations. I begin too many sentences with I.

But when I give in to God and allow that people and events do as they are supposed to do, God either teaches, surprises, or blesses me. God has been sprinkling blessings amidst the teaching lately (“a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down?”).

For this stint in Beni, I’m living at Bethel House—a house that CI-UCBC is renting to accommodate international staff and visiting professors. For the first time we Americans (currently it’s Americans who make up “international staff”) share living space and meals with Congolese professors. It’s a grand opportunity for cultures to brush up against each other.

This past week I’ve been harboring ill feelings towards one of my “housemates.” He hasn’t done anything to me. He’s just been who he is, wrapped in his personality, preferences, and values, a product of his culture and experiences, with views about gender and class shaped by all of that and more. And, of course, I’ve been wrapped in my personality, preferences, and values. I, too, am a product of my culture and experiences, with views about gender and class.

I confess that earlier this week I did not want to spend time with this teacher. I was not interested in getting to know him or engaging in conversation. I had developed opinions and maintained prejudices based on a handful of observations. My selfishness and tendency towards judgment stood firm.

Then Desmond Tutu challenged me in that loving, impish voice and that gentle, magnanimous spirit. Krista Tippett conducted an interview with him in 2010 for On Being. Early in the interview Bishop Tutu responds to a question about the “dynamite” power of the Bible. He says, “We are created in the image of God….Each one of us is a God-carrier,” then proceeds to tell the story of a township parish he pastored early in his ministry. The members were poor, many of them domestic workers in the white enclaves in another world. Most of the women were called “Annie,” and most of the men were called “Boy,” because the whites insisted the African names were too difficult to pronounce. Tutu would tell his congregants, “When they ask ‘Who are you?’ tell them, ‘I’m a God-carrier. I’m God’s partner.’"

God-carrier. We’re each of us a God-carrier? Yes. Created in God’s image. Yes, we are. We are. Not just me. Not just the people I love, or the people who are my friends, or the people I enjoy being with, or the people with whom I gladly and expectantly share my life. But even the moto-driver who insists on charging me double the going rate for a ride between Bethel House and the UCBC campus is a God-carrier. The Congolese youth who stares and shouts, “Muzungu!” when I pass is a God-carrier. My temporary housemate is a God-carrier. Ouch!

Have I become great friends with this other teacher? No. But as I’ve allowed my heart to soften, mealtimes are more pleasant, at least for me. I’m less inclined to focus on what I find distasteful. I’m kinder and gentler and more inclined to act as a God-carrier myself.

M2EP-"Belief in spite of the evidence"

"Hope is belief in spite of the evidence; then watching the evidence change." The quotation may not be exact, but this the the gist of it. Jim Wallis reminded the several hundred gathered at Shiloh Baptist Church last Sunday night, April 26, at the opening worship service of the Mobilization 2 End Poverty campaign . That notion wove through the plenary sessions and worship services during the 3-1/2 days. You couldn't miss it, not with living reminders of the civil rights struggles (Rep. John Lewis, Dr. Vincent Harding, and John Perkins) or present-day examples of hoping and working for change in spite of the evidence, like Alexie Torres Fleming, founder of Youth Ministries for Peace and Justice, who organized her neighborhood against the drug lords of her community, in spite of death threats, arson, and fear; and Rachel Anderson and Lisa Sharon Harper, who, along with other believers, formed the Boston Faith and Justice Network (working, among other things, to make Boston a "Fair Trade City") and the New York Faith and Justice Network, respectively.

There were the historical reminders that people of faith and people with hope have fought against fears and systems to change what others thought could never be changed. Richard Stearns, of World Vision, recounted the story of the British abolitionists who fought to abolish the trans-Atlantic slave trade--a system that fueled an empire and an economy.

And of course, throughout the entire M2EP, we were reminded about our biblical call to abolish injustice and bring about change in spite of the cost, in spite of the odds, in spite of what seems realistic.

But back to the statement, "Hope is belief in spite of the evidence, then watching the evidence change." What if we lived that way? What if Christians, people who profess belief, profess faith in the Almighty (think about that word!) really lived out life that way? I must admit, while I think I have strong faith about my personal, private, and family life, I have meager faith when it comes to the kingdom of God here on earth. Now. Eliminate poverty? Eliminate starvation? Make sure every human being has clean water to drink? Eliminate slavery? Stop the illegal trafficking of over 1 million children each year? The Millenium Development Goals?

My faith has been too small. My hope too weak. I have fallen into the trap of rationalism and reality of the day. "No one has ever...." "How can you think that...when the deficit is...$$?" I don't know. I don't have rational answers. But I believe in an Almighty God, the power of the Holy Spirit, and the love of Jesus. And there are plenty of reminders of God's greatness "in spite of evidence." Esther. Ruth and Naomi. David, the shepherd. Mary and Martha and the friends of a dead Lazarus. Daniel surviving a lion.

My faith may be small; but I'm trying to grow it.