Intentions for Lent

Inconsistent describes my Lenten practices over the years. I've done my share of giving up coffee, sweets, and baked goods. There have been efforts to do something differently--pray at a regular time, read through a part of scripture. But inconsistency always accompanies intention.

Over the past three weeks I've rolled around ideas about what to do, what to give up, what to take on for Lent. I wanted to be able to follow through, all the way through Lent to Easter with the practice. Nothing bubbled up. I tossed around all the usuals for the past three weeks, but nothing stood up and demanded, "Here is your Lenten practice this year."

Then a word. Intention. It's one of the themes threading through my experiences, learning, and practices over the last 18 months.

On Ash Wednesday I sat in the quiet of the early morning hours to pray and write, read and listen. I repeated the question that had plagued the previous three weeks."What should I do for Lent?"

"Intention," came the reply. "Do today with intention. And do intention one day at a time."

Such brief instruction, but direct and significant. And it made sense.

That morning I made a dietary choice for the day. I committed to ask forgiveness for a deep wound I caused years ago.

Psalm 37, one of yesterday's readings, admonishes, "Do not fret...Be still before the Lord." So my intention for Day 2: Put aside fretting (which looks like frustration, occasional irritation, and judgment on me). I also made a dietary decision for the day.

Today, Day 3 and another set of intentions: Take a next step in my forgiveness work and respond to someone whom I would prefer to ignore. There was another dietary decision.

Where will this practice of intention lead? I don't know, and it really doesn't matter. Not now. What does matter is this day, and that I stay true to today's intentions.

Ash Wednesday, 2015

The beginning of Lent. This evening at church, Holy Eucharist with the Imposition of Ashes. "Remember that you are dust, and to dust you shall return." The priest smudges a black cruciform onto each of our foreheads. We speak words of penitence and list our shortcomings.

We have not loved you with our whole heart, and mind, and strength. We have not loved our neighbors as ourselves. We have not forgiven others, as we have been forgiven. 

We have been deaf to your call to serve, as Christ served us. 

We confess all our past unfaithfulness: the pride, hypocrisy, and impatience of our lives; Our self-indulgent appetites and ways, and our exploitation of other people; our anger at our own frustration, and our envy of those more fortunate than ourselves;...

Accept our repentance, Lord, for the wrongs we have done: for our blindness to human need and suffering, and our indifference to injustice and cruelty; for all false judgments, for uncharitable thoughts toward our neighbors, and for our prejudice and contempt toward those who differ from us,... 

The list goes on. The sins are many. Our faults too heavy to bear on our own. The list is enough to put us under. So we say the words together, shoring each other up, acknowledging our shared guilt and our shared hope. We are a gathering of the trying-to-be-faithful on this day that marks the open door to grace.

I am reminded of the seal at baptism. The priest makes the sign of the cross with oil on the forehead of the newly baptized,  and claims, "You are sealed by the Holy Spirit in Baptism and marked as Christ's own forever. Amen."

Yes, we fail. We sin and we hurt each other. We even do unspeakable things. But God, in Her and His boundless mercy, loves us and pours out grace and mercy upon us.

Thanks be to God.

"In all, we bless the Lord"

On Wednesday morning Othy and Archip crowded onto a bus in Kampala to start the day's journey to Beni. The 8+ hour bus ride between Kampala and the DRC border is a wild jazz drive. People and packages fill every seat, nook, and cranny of the bus. Drivers disregard speed limits and accidents are common. Passengers change at frequent and fast stops. Food vendors jump on with trays of roasted corn, screwers of meat and packages of peanuts, filling the aisle at one stop to make a sale, then jumping off the next to catch a returning bus. And then there is the border crossing and the 2 hour (plus) ride to Beni.

Archip and Othy were loaded with several bags and boxes, mostly equipment and electronic items for UCBC, and a few gifts. Somewhere en route someone snatched Archip's bag. The bag contained some of the tech equipment and gifts. It also contained Archip's passport. Jon emailed the news:

Archip and Othy were traveling back to Beni today and somehow Archip's bag was stolen. In it was the GIS computer, money for the primary school, gifts and money from Mary, Archip's passport and other valuables. At a check point it was discovered that Archip did not have his documents and he was arrested. He is now being taken to the border to verify that he entered the country legally. He sounds confident he will be allowed to return to Congo. Please be praying for him.

Later that day Othy informed Jon that he had made it through the border where he explained Archip's situation. Border agents assured Othy that Archip was safe and would be processed into Congo the next morning, Thursday. Othy spent the night in Kasindi, the border town on the DRC side, waiting for Archip to cross the border.

When Archip joined Othy the next morning, we learned that our friend had not been safe. The police had left him sitting in the rain for several hours after arresting him, then beat him and threw him into prison where other detainees continued to abuse him through the night.

Yesterday, Friday, Archip went to the hospital in Beni for treatment to his wounds. He wrote,

I'm safe and I"m home now. I'm feeling sick because I was beaten seriously by the [Ugandan police] and the others arrested guys in prison all the night. But God is
good and he protected me. And thank you for the prayer and your love for me. I'm already going to the hospital for treatment. I'm sorry for the goods that we lost... I'm really sorry... I could not imagine if that can happen... 

Othy wrote yesterday,

...This is a very hard time for us and we don't know what to do neither what to think about the things that are now lost. 

In all, we bless the Lord, our God for what happened and moreover,  we are asking him to help us through what happened.

I cannot imagine why any of this happened or what to think, either. These is no sense to it. There is no good reason. Besides, understanding the why doesn't solve the now, nor does it direct how we should live in the face of the why.

But then we are not called to imagine the why of the worst. We are called to imagine another reality. We are called to imagine the hope of a redeemed and reconciled world. That's what this time of Advent reminds us.

The spirit of the Lord God...has sent me to bring good news to the oppressed, to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and release to the prisoners; to comfort all who mourn;... 

to give them a garland instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the mantle of praise instead of a faint spirit... (Isaiah 61:1-4) 

The wolf shall live with the lamb; the leopard shall lie down with the kid; the calf and the lion and the fatling together, and a little child shall lead them.

The cow and the bear shall graze; their young shall lie down together; and the lion shall eat straw like the ox. 

The nursing child shall play over the hole of the asp, and the weaned child shall put its hand on the adder's den. 

They will not hurt or destroy on all my hold mountain; for the earth will be full of the knowledge of the Lord as the waters cover the sea. (Isaiah 11:6-9)

We are also called to "thank God, no matter what happens" (1 Thessalonians 5:18).

No, we do not understand why this happened. We do not understand why the injustice and cruelty Archip endured are echoed across the globe. And to contemplate the why of darkness and evil only sends us to our own private place of darkness and grief.

So we hold to the hope and the promise. We respond in a radical and ridiculous way. In doing so, we usher in something of the Kingdom of God today. We chisel a crack in the darkness so the light can shine through. "In all, we bless the Lord."

Thanks be to God.

Another lesson in humility

Word arrived yesterday that the door to return to Beni is closed to me right now. My colleagues at UCBC have decided to postpone the General Assembly (Congolese board of CI-UCBC) which had been scheduled for next week. Continued insecurity thwarts human plans. It has been deemed unsafe for members of the board who live outside of Beni to travel to the city.

I confess disappointment and sadness. I confess selfishness. In the midst of other's suffering, and as the stories of fear, death, atrocities continue to mount, I think about my own disappointment. I want to be in Beni. I want to see and talk to and work, side-by-side, with my friends, colleagues, and family there. But, the story is not about me.

Last night as our CI-UCBC diaspora met for evening prayer (we are now 1 Canadian, 2 Congolese, and 5 Americans), we lamented the atrocities continuing around Beni and across DRC. Othy and Archip recounted Congo's recent history, punctuating the story of corruption and greed with claims of hope. "This evil will not last. We are a new generation. God will prevail. This is only a transition to something new." We also spoke of Congo's beauty and promise, of the love and creativity and joy of its people. We prayed and lamented the current atrocities, pleading with God for deliverance and protection for each and every person, for the country.

We concluded our prayer, and Archip apologized for his tears. He shared a story from his childhood--an experience that no 8-year-old should have, but an experience that too many children across Congo and the world share. Othy took his friend's hand. For the next 15 minutes we sat as Archip relived his memories, and Othy spoke words of promise and hope. "Yes, we suffer now. But God is with us. God has not forgotten us." Othy reminded us of the story of the Israelites who suffered Pharaoh's oppression until the time God ordained their release. Kate reminded us of the story of Paul who persecuted Christians only to be touched by God and transformed as one of the first great teachers of The Way.

Then the Psalm for this morning, Psalm 37 with its reminders:

Do not fret because of the wicked; do not be envious of wrongdoers, for they will soon fade like the grass and wither like the green herb. 

Trust in the Lord, and do good; so you will live in the land and enjoy security.

Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. 

Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act. 

He will make your vindication shine like the light, and the justice of your cause like the noonday.

Kaswera (L) and Rebecca (R)

Be still before the Lord, and wait patiently for him; do not fret over those who prosper in their way, over those who carry out evil devices. 

Refrain from anger, and forsake wrath.  

Do not fret--it leads only to evil.... (vs. 1-8)

Our steps are made firm by the Lord, when he delights in our way; though we stumble, we shall not fall headlong, for the Lord holds us by the hand.... (vs. 23-24)

Victor (front) and Ndjabu (behind)

Depart from evil, and do good; so you shall abide forever;
For the Lord loves justice; he will not forsake his faithful ones.... (vs. 27-28)

The salvation of the righteous is from the Lord; he is their refuge in the time of trouble;
The Lord helps them and rescues them; he rescues them from the wicked, and saves them, because they take refuge in him. (vs. 39-40)

Archip

My thoughts turned to Othy and Archip--two intelligent, eager young men who are examples of hope. They are examples of living a life of faith and hope even when everything around them demands despair.

Then the faces of so many Congolese sisters, brothers, daughters, and sons came to mind: David, Daniel, Kavira, Manassé, Honoré, Decky, Kaswera, Sifa Jolie, Faden, Rebecca, Nellie, Victor. The list is long.

Decky

In spite of challenges, even in spite of horrors, they continue to trust in the Lord and "do good." They "depart from evil and do
good." They are living witnesses to another Way.

Thanks be to God.

Hope

The Advent Hymn O Come, O Come, Emmanuel calls us to remember the hope of God’s promise to restore the world—all creation, all humanity, all relationships.

Oh, come, our Dayspring from on high,
And cheer us by your drawing nigh,
Disperse the gloomy clouds of night,
And death's dark shadows put to flight.
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel
Shall come to you, O Israel!

This hope is not empty. The hope is fulfilled in large and small ways. Just this week Othy Vitswamba and Archip Lobo, UCBC graduates and current staff members, were examples of that hope. They put on "the armor of light" and "put to flight" dark shadows.

Othy and Archip were traveling from Beni to join the CI-UCBC International Staff in Kampala for a week of training with UCBC visiting researcher, Lise vanOverbeeke. At the border the DRC immigration officer demanded $20 to stamp Archip's brand new passport, even though there is no regulation on the books that a fee should be charged for this purpose. Othy and Archip recounted the story.

We spent twenty minutes explaining to the official that we were not going to pay the bribe. We told her, "No. This is wrong. There is no such law." She insisted, "This is how it always is." 

So we said, “And this is why our country is the way it is, because of corruption, because people do not want to do their jobs correctly. You are stealing from our people, from our country. 

The officer challenged us. “Ah! But this is how it is. This is how it was even before you were born. Do you think you can change that? Do you think you are the ones who can change this country? 

We told her, “Yes! We are the ones who will change this country! Our generation will change things." 

She said, “You have money. You are traveling to Uganda. You are with a university. You can pay. I have to do such things so I can get money and my children can go to school.” 

“If we continue like this and you do not do your job properly, then your kids will never have money. They will never be able to go to school. But if we change and do things differently, then you will profit and your kids will profit.” We saw a change in her eyes. She let us go! “OK,  we will see if you can change this country.” 

At the next office, the medical officer demanded $70 to verify our vaccinations.  We told him “No,” and explained that we were going to Kampala for training to help our country, so he should help us. He asked, “If you think you can change this country then you live in a fantasy!” 

We told him, “No, this is a reality. We are leaders of this country. Nothing will take this hope from us.” 

Then he stood up to shake our hands. “We never meet people who speak like you. We will encourage you. Did you train in social science?”

We laughed. “No! I am a computer engineer and my friend here studied communications!”

Othy (L) and Archip (R)

After relaying their story, Archip commented, “I was shocked that all these people have lost hope. They are the ones who should show us the good way. They should be setting a good example for us. Congo is the way it is because most people have lost hope. There were other workers in those offices, and they all heard us. Five people heard our message of hope. We have already done part of the work. If each one of us from UCBC shares this message with just five people, can you imagine what we will do?”

Yes, even in the midst of darkness, God's promise to restore an redeem shines. Our "Dayspring from on high" attends even now.

Thanks be to God.

Christ the King Sunday

I stayed home from church today.  It’s Christ the King Sunday, a feast day in the Roman Catholic Church and an unofficial day of celebration in the Episcopal Church. This is the day to remember and celebrate Jesus’ lordship over all—all of creation, all of us, all of our efforts and institutions and systems. We Episcopalians should get on board with the Catholics here and make this a feast day.

My heart has been heavy. Death, sickness, poverty, cruelty, and selfishness persist. Syria. Ukraine. Libya. Israel. The US Congress.

Sad news from Beni continues to roll in. Friends, family, and colleagues in Beni soldier on. Our tiny band of international staff waits, prays, and works in Uganda. CI leadership wrestles with the normal challenges of organizational life and leadership in a not-so-normal environment. What does Stephen Covey have to say about insecurity and unrest in Seven Habits?

Today I needed to sit with prayer, scripture, and God. 

The collect for the day (Episcopal BCP, p. 236):

Almighty and everlasting God, whose will it is to restore all things in your well-beloved Son, the King of kings and lord of lords; Mercifully grant that the peoples of the earth, divided and enslaved by sin, may be freed and brought together under his most gracious rule; who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen.

The readings for today reference a kingly God and a God of power:

• Worship the Lord…come into his presence...
• Enter his gates with thanksgiving
• ….immeasurable greatness of his power…
• God put this power to work in Christ…and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly places far above all rule and authority and power and dominion… 

Ezekiel references God as a shepherd (a rather lowly occupation in the day) of an unruly and doltish flock (adjectives mine, not Ezekiel's). 

Then there is the Matthew 25 passage. Jesus, God made flesh, Emmanuel, was and is hungry, thirsty, naked, sick, imprisoned. He was and is a stranger—someone from somewhere else. Jesus the King is broken and in need. King Jesus, broken and in need, asks us for help. King Jesus asks us for some food, a cup of water, clothing and shelter, care and presence, and a warm welcome.

This is where my heart opened up. Something inside said, "Love." I don't know how or why or where that word came from. The word love isn't in today's readings, per se. But it is implied in the actions. God loves us. God doesn't reign imperially and imperiously. God reigns with love and gentleness. God's desire is for our complete restoration—a healthy planet, healthy families, good relationships, people at peace. 

I do not love the people wreaking havoc in Beni and other places in the world. But God does. And while I am not physically able to give the cup of water, I can pray for that cup of water. I can pray that God's love would pour down on each one, just as today's rainstorm drenched us here in Kampala. 

Dear God, King of All, yes, please restore all things and bring all people together—all of us separated and divided and hating and hurting each other. Bring us each and all to freedom and peace. May we do our part. May we love each other across those divides and separations. Help me to pray your love on those whom I do not want to love.

A new story

There are no simple explanations for the recent outbreaks of violence in and around Beni. The region owns a complex history of proxy wars, rebel groups with ill-defined agendas and fluid memberships, political maneuvering, and shifting regional alliances.  Add to the mix human capacity for violence and selfish ambition, and the various narratives soon tangle on themselves.

Since early October outbreaks of violence have battered the city of Beni and its surrounding region. Rebel groups are blamed for random attacks and the murder of more than 120 people. Several thousand civilians have fled their homes in outlying areas to seek refuge in town. Households have tripled and quadrupled in size as families seek safety in numbers. A 6-hour gunfight on November 2 held the town hostage, and residents of one quartier were evacuated after the discovery of two bombs on November 6. Angry mobs have destroyed private and public property. Flyers announcing imminent attacks have fueled fear, and rapid-fire rumors wrestle with the truth. Shambas (small-hold farms) sit unattended as farmers fear leaving town to cultivate their fields. Food prices are rising.

But there’s a better story—a  story of light and life, a story of faith and hope.

UCBC classes were scheduled to begin on October 30. But beginning on October 28, and for the next 8 days, violence and tensions increased. These events prompted UCBC staff and leadership to take precautionary, practical, and prayerful measures. Staff and leadership decided to delay the opening of classes by a few days so things could settle down. They also decided to shorten the school day so students and staff could return home well before dark. A local business formed by recent UCBC graduates began work with UCBC staff to develop an SMS (short message service—i.e., text message) app so university administration could send news, info, and updates to the entire student body. And the community continued to pray. 

An email from Daniel Masumbuko (UCBC Chaplain and Finance Administrator) on November 3 recalled the new story.

Let us hold strong our holy Hope—Christ in us, the Hope of glory! He will never fail us with regards to His Kingdom that's among us, with us, in us and through us. He's been faithful. He usually lays His head for rest on the storm amidst a highly troubled sea. What's happening may actually be a continuation of the devil's anger against the light shining from Beni…, bringing back Shekinah in DRC by contributing to the renewal of His Church…. I think of Psalm 2: "Why do the nations conspire... kings of the earth rise up... AGAINST HIS ANOINTED...let us break their chains and throw off their shackles...THE ONE ENTHRONED IN HEAVEN LAUGHS..." Let us remember that with all that happening and all the emerging universities in Beni, 150 new students enrolled at UCBC!

The next day Honoré Bunduki Kwany (UCBC Academic Dean and Acting Interim Rector ) confirmed,

I am very much encouraged by the attitude of our staff. Despite the situation, all are strong and continue to serve. … Our biggest challenge is that we are a bit far from the center town. But this should not bring us to let the enemy dishearten us. For in Isaiah 41:10 the Lord tells us five things. (1) He is with us, so we should not fear, (2) He is our God, so we should not be dismayed. (3) He promises to  strengthen us, (4) to help us and (5) to hold us with the right hand of his righteousness. He is more than able and he proved it for Israel, Elisha and his Servant when they were surrounded by their enemies (2 Kings 6:8-23).

On Wednesday, November 5, UCBC launched the academic year with a community-wide chapel service and orientation sessions. That the year began a week later than originally planned does not matter. What does matter is that—

Students at work

• 150 new students have enrolled at UCBC, despite the current, local insecurity
• faculty, staff, and students have pulled together to assist with security and communication an committed to abiding by safety guidelines
• student groups such as Women’s Voices and Creation Care Volunteers are meeting, planning the year’s activities, and getting to work
• Service Learning is in full swing with three projects underway
• UCBC's Climate Action Fellows, Sifa Jolie and Faden Sibamtaki, lead students in implementing action plans
• 300 students attend the two primary schools under the auspices of UCBC 

We thank God for this new story, and are reminded of UCBC's guiding verse (Isaiah 43:18-19):

Thus says the Lord,…”Do not remember the former  things; or consider the things of old. I am about to do a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.”

Thanks be to God.

A new story: UCBC
Aerial view of campus (red roofs on L), 2010